What makes somebody beautiful? It’s someone who appreciates the beauty in other people without any jealousy or mimicry. A beautiful person can look at you and actually see you, accept you and recognize the beauty and the divine in you. Their presence makes them beautiful. Their ability to be alive in that moment and appreciate what they’re seeing and sensing makes them beautiful.
But I think there’s a general categorization that’s even higher than that for many people when they think about beauty.
1. Beautiful people are genuine.
A person who is authentically themselves is someone who is true to who they are. Their unique spirit is on display because they aren’t mimicking the world. They aren’t trying to be somebody else. They’re just them. You can sense their aliveness in the moment.
You know someone is genuine when there is spontaneity to the things they say and the actions they take. Their reactions to the world aren’t so measured and calculated. Because when you see those people, you don’t think they’re authentic; you think they’re manipulative. It’s hard to see them as beautiful because there’s a darkness to them. You think, I’m not sure this person is real. I’m not sure this person has good intentions. I can’t vibe with this person because there’s nothing about them that shows me that’s them.
Every beautiful person you think about, there’s a unique characteristic to them. It’s not just how they do their hair or what they wear or if their makeup is perfect. It’s like there’s something about them that makes you think, I don’t know exactly what it is, but I can tell they’re genuine, alive in who they are, and demonstrating their unique and true spirit to the world. That’s sexy. That’s beautiful.
It doesn’t matter their size, shape, background, color or beliefs; none of that matters. Are they alive in themselves? Do they have a genuine, true spirit? If that’s there, that’s beautiful.
2. Beautiful people are interested in the world.
They have a curiosity about you, about other people, and they’re just interested in things. It’s that curiosity, that love for learning, that makes them more beautiful. And they’re compelling to talk to. There’s an awareness, an interest and curiosity about them that makes them intriguing—because they are intrigued.
3. Beautiful people are passionate about something.
They have a passion for life, for a specific topic or a specific person. There’s something they geek out about, they love to talk about—even if it’s something silly. It doesn’t have to be all the time where they’re fired up and gesturing and running around. They have to be themselves, but they have to be so interested in something that when they convey it, it comes across as real energy.
4. Beautiful people are optimists.
The people who are not attractive are black holes. These people have dark energy that just sucks everybody in and drowns them in pools of pessimism.
A pessimist is not that attractive, not because their beliefs about things might not turn out well; it’s that they often lack passion for something that’s positive. Some people are passionate about hatred. When you see someone who’s passionate and enraged with anger, that’s not beautiful, it’s scary. It’s hard to respect them, because they cannot and will not take personal responsibility enough to align their actions, behaviors and emotions in ways that are supportive to others, to the situations to handle them.
Some people are initially attracted to them because it’s a form of passion, but then they discover that passion is attached to a negative expression. Passion attached to negative expression over and over becomes grinding, and it’s not attractive. I believe that passion attached to positive things, passion attached to things that progress humanity forward—that’s sexy.
5. Beautiful people have a mission.
That’s why people with a cause or a mission, volunteers who are passionate about something, they’re beautiful (even when they’re running around in those ugly volunteer shirts you get, where they always give you the super big extra-large with some dumb logo on it). They are genuinely doing something that feels like they’re serving, doing good and giving. They’re interested in helping other people. They’re beautiful people. It doesn’t matter their size, shape or background; it’s just about their spirit. Their intent is so positive.
I think these wrap down to two very simple things:
First, there’s an aliveness about this person. There is some kind of positive passion, a genuine expression. There’s an aliveness and animation to them that’s unique to them and that is attractive.
And second, there’s an authenticity to them, a real awareness of self, an awareness to their experience in which they can respond in such genuine, real and spontaneous ways that you think, Wow, what a beautiful person.